Monday 24 November 2014

Not to communicate...

Not to communicate.....

To speak or not to speak is an easy choice for most of us. But can we as easily choose whether we want to communicate or not to communicate??

I am certain all of you must have at least once, if not more, faced this situation where you have been forced to attend an event which you had no intention of attending. This could have been either because of parents' insistence, siblings, friends, colleagues, bosses or any one else who might have asked you to make your presence at an occasion. 

What did you do in such cases?
I am certain you must have pulled out  the first available dress, reached the venue, met the host, registered your presence and sat scowling for the rest of the evening, refusing to communicate pleasantly or socialise till it was a decent time to take your leave. Once out, you must have patted yourself on the back, happy that an ordeal is over.  But hey! did you actually not communicate?? Your decision to not communicate itself communicated a lot about you as a person......

 According to the dictionary meaning of the word communication, it can broadly be classified into Verbal, Vocal and Non verbal. Verbal Communication is 7% of the total communication and constitutes of words which we use to convey our intentions. It is as good as sending a text to a person and leaving it up to them to perceive its meaning. 
Vocal communication is 38% of the total and it conveys our tone of speaking, where we pause and where we lay stress while speaking. It is far more powerful than mere verbal communication. For example : A husband wanting to take his wife for dinner can simply text her " Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?" (equivalent to 7% verbal communication)
OR
He can call her up and convey his intentions in a more powerful way. This way he can communicate at least 7 to 8 intentions using the same words but with different pauses and emphasis.  (stress on the bold+underlined word)

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?


Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

This verbal and vocal communication combined makes only 45% of the total communication. The rest whooping 55% of the total communication is NON VERBAL communication and in situations where we do not get a chance to express our opinions verbally, this 55% has to be a complete 100%.......

Non verbal communication consists of your appearance as a whole including your dressing and grooming, your facial expressions and your body language. You must be wondering how you can manage and communicate positively in all situations in a non verbal atmosphere?


It has been found that human brain has a photographic memory. They remember better what they see rather than what they hear. One wrong impression and every time that person is mentioned, the wrong image will pop up. So each time you meet people, you have to make sure that you are always communicating positively non verbally and trust me , its not so difficult.

It all begins with self. A positive self image always helps. If you believe in yourself and have faith in you abilities, that confidence is reflected on your face and it glows all the time, making you look beautiful. 
Next most important thing is personal hygiene and grooming which conveys a lot about you as a person to others around you. It conveys your values and beliefs and about things which you consider important. 
After this comes your dressing and appearance for the day or the occasion. While selecting the dress for the day, always keep in mind the time of the day, occasion, the people whom you will meet and the purpose for that meeting. Your appearance should not show disregard or disrespect to the event or to the people around. Colour scheme should be complimentary to your personal colours and and the line, pattern, texture, design should have been selected after consideration to your personal style and body shape. The accessories you choose to compliment your dress should enhance its purpose and your face shape. They should be matching and complimenting your dress and your appearance as a whole. 
Now done with your appearance, your should focus on your body language and facial expressions as they play an important part in your non verbal communication. They are not like dresses which can be changed daily to suit your purpose. They are like the habits of personal hygiene and grooming which stay with you forever and improve with time and knowledge. A correct posture, straight spine , thrown back shoulders convey your confidence and complimented with correct positive facial expressions, you have won the race !!!! A natural smile alone can increase your face value by a thousand times. Natural make up for the whole day look, glamour make up for the evening and subtle make up for the day events, chosen with care, adds a complete look to your appearance.

Good luck to all dear friends for always leaving behind a very very positive impression to everyone you meet from now onwards..... :)